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William Faulkner gave a lecture at Harvard. He shuffled on stage after receiving a glowing

introduction, looked at the audience of about 1100 and said, "How many of you here wish to be writers?" Half raised their hands immediately, the other half were a bit more tentative. He took the pipe out of his mouth, jabbed the stem at the audience, and said, "Then you fuckers should be home writing." And walked off the stage. (Lew Hunter)